Truth be told, I still have days when I struggle with this retirement thing. The struggle isn’t as intense as a bit ago, (it’s only been 16 days) but as a dear friend accurately advised – the unease does come back in waves.
I am grateful for the good in my life: experiences, growth opportunities, serene surroundings, family, and friends. In my head I have it all, my narrative is sweet.
“Where to now?” the head asks.
“Look at all the possibilities.” it says.
“Pace yourself!” it demands.
Brené Brown’s latest book, Rising Strong, was sitting on my night stand unread. Its call became too loud to ignore. Funny how books can do that, eh? Rising Strong now? Why not?
Complete vulnerable disclosure…my word picture:
Bring to mind, if you can, the Apollo space capsules. Each mission accomplished much, not the least being a lunar landing, complete with a walk on the moon. A literal charting of the unknown! As powerful as these experiences were, at the end of each mission the crews were inevitably faced with…
Shaking, free falling, the lost view of the horizon must have terrified them at least on some level. Would the landing be successful or would they dissolve during the rough ride through the atmosphere?
During my most fearful moments of uncertainty, it feels like I’m free falling, sometimes violently, through the atmosphere.
Not for a minute do I think think my experiences were at the monumental level of an Apollo mission, however; education/teaching for me was life changing. It really could be ‘out there’ at times.
Try as I may to keep my eyes on the horizon, try as I may to visualize all who have come before me landing safely, my mindsight is dimmed. How will this end?
Not one to succumb to terror what do I do? I must trust my re-entry process.
Lean into the discomfort…Brené says it works ~ that’s good enough for me. That coupled with a grounding belief that ‘better is possible’ I hold on, sometimes white knuckled, until my feet once again land on Planet Earth. And land they do.
Eyes open, possibilities untold!